Over the next few years, I got married, started my family with two children. When I look back at my wedding albums, I don’t think I looked healthy at all! I was overly thin and pale.
I was struggling at work, failing to keep up with marking and planning, it was starting to get noticed. However, another part of my life was flourishing.
I trained to be a football referee. I rose through the ranks quite quickly. I believe I was well rated and respected in the community. At my peak, I was an assistant in the Welsh second tier and a referee in the third tier, I was very active and I loved it!
Looking back now, I actually believe that refereeing had been my salvation at the time. Exercise being the most effective thing a diabetic can do to reduce the need for insulin, and general health. I used to do as much as I could possibly fit into a weekend. I did, probably, an average of 4 games.
It is my belief, now, that I was spending all week building up ketones and all weekend detoxing them out! In fact, I did used to take some insulin with football too, simply because I could not function without it, although, I am amazed, now, I could function at all.
In order to progress up the ranks, I had to pass a fitness test, usually in August. I was always on the borderline of pass or fail. The football season ended in May, usually, and the weekends became like my weekdays, by taking minimal insulin. During the course of the season, I would maintain a weight of between 12 and 13 stone, but by the end of July, I would be 11 stone and I observed that I could run more comfortably at this weight, with no wobbling bits.
This was not a researched or conscious abuse to lose weight, in the first instance, at least. It occurred by osmosis, it happened by accident in the first year, but because it created a preferable result, I deliberately repeated it in subsequent years as diabulimic episodes.
The next few years were a struggle, my behaviour continued and it put a huge strain on my relationships. I missed out on quality time with the kids and with my wife. I was so mean, grumpy and nasty.
It was also about this time that my career also started to fall apart. I was literally put in the position that if I didn’t quit, I would be sacked. So, I resigned.
I was starting to experience some mid-term complications: although I had already begun to lose a few teeth, this was becoming more widespread, and whereas previously, this had been confined to non-visible back teeth, it was now occurring to the “smile” teeth also. I was also experiencing some circulation issues. My feet were beginning to hurt after football and small blemishes on extremities were taking longer to heal, and scarring.
I then registered as a supply teacher for my local schools, this provided motivation for me, both in a personal and professional capacity. I was more compliant with T1D, despite the fact that I was still flying blind and not understanding my condition. I then applied for a permanent position at another school. I was successful in securing this job.
The next year, or so, were very successful, but evaluating myself today I know I had a severe flaw in my psyche at that time. I had a habit of “when the going got tough, I got going”, but when that pressure subsided and the novelty wore off, I had a tendency to slacken off, go into survival mode and fall into old habits. In the years that followed, my diabetic fallow periods returned, although the motivation spurts were more frequent and more prolonged.