My last post discussed anxieties all related to fear of hypos but there are other anxieties that can cause insulin manipulation.
Peer isolation anxiety
As a T1D we need to adapt our lives and that, by implication, means we are different to our non diabetic friends. We can either:
- Embrace these differences: Be the “I am T1D, deal with it” kind of person!
- Minimise their impacts: Carefully plan and strategise behaviours to be a good T1D but having it not affect a “normal” existence , or
- Ignore them: Pretend not to be T1D!
Option 3 can obviously lead to insulin manipulation.
Imagine a T1D teenager at a party, they know they should be careful with food, but the fun atmosphere leads to them not caring and observing that, in order to fit in.
Similarly, an adult at a function, there might be a perceived pressure to not be “that person” who has to leave the table to test, inject and manage. Furthermore, the T1D doesn’t want to have a hypo at the table, drawing attention to themselves and their condition.
Weight or body image anxiety/PTSD
This is particularly related to eating disorders and will be discussed in it’s own blog.
Diabetic Non insulin manipulation anxieties
There are also anxieties related to T1D that have nothing to do with insulin manipulation, although, incorrect administering of insulin occur as a result.
Needle anxiety
Needle anxiety is when there is a fear of needles, either as an irrational fear, or a PTSD fear based on previous pain or an infection. There are many products available to alleviate needle fear, eg Buzzy and Tickleflex.
I have never had any needle anxiety, and yet, I went months at a time, not testing my blood sugars. For me, this was a different anxiety altogether
Numbers anxiety
My issue with not testing my blood was actually numbers anxiety, fear of seeing numbers that confirmed how bad I was. Contradictorily, though, it was also, I knew how bad I was and didn’t need to see the numbers to confirm it. I felt that high numbers were a judgement on me, my meter was a permanent reminder to me of how much of a failure I was.
I recently spoke with a man who had no issue with injections (because he knew he would die if he didn’t take them) but was not able to do his blood readings because, he believed, needle fear. We spoke at length, and the mental block was absolutely real, but I do believe it was a numbers anxiety rather than needles. Evaluate yourself, if you think you have needle fear, analyse it and check if it is not the numbers.
Relationship anxiety
Relationship anxiety can occur in at least two forms depending on age and time of diagnosis.
If you are a child, or a single adult, you may have the following feelings:
- Will my T1d make my chances of finding a partner more difficult?
- When I start a relationship, at what point do I disclose my T1D? How will they react?
- Will they worry about whether we could have a family or not?
- Will I be a burden?
- Will I suffer from vicarious grief?
If you are diagnosed as an adult and already in a steady relationship or marriage, you may have the following feelings:
- Will our relationship change? Will s/he still see me as a lover, or as a carer?
- Will I become a burden if I get more ill or complications?
- Will it change our future plans for children?
- Will I die before him/her?
Of course, many of those fears are not unique to T1D and it can be difficult in this (and, in fact, all) anxieties to isolate were T1D starts and ends.
Responsibility anxiety
Unique to younger diagnosises and their parents, responsibility anxiety is the worry of when vicarious care stops and personal care starts, and the transition phase in between. Parents might not want to trust their children and the children may not feel ready for the responsibility. Its a fine balance and an emotional process.
Financial anxiety
As a UK resident and writing this blog primarily from a UK perspective, I am so glad that we do not have to deal with this anxiety. It is a fact, that in many countries, insulin and medication and technology cost extortionate amounts of money, and T1Ds need to make financial decisions as to what they can afford or not. That is not to say that the NHS is a complete bed of roses. It comes with some of its own anxieties and problems, but nothing compared to the scale of financial worries.